My name is Pennywise, and you didn't have to be so mean

My name is Pennywise, and you didn't have to be so mean.

I get it, my life is over. Maybe I deserved it, but I'm from a different time. Give me a break! I don't know what offends you young people.

I used to take pride in being a clown. It was once a respected stock character. I bet none of you noticed I draw heavily on the commedia dell'arte tradition. Not once did any of you stop to ask yourselves why I default to clown. I could have told you, if you asked.

I'll admit it, I've been pretty narrow-minded about stealing children, but adults are just so much harder to scare these days. What am I supposed to do, transform into an 80 degree day in November?

You can't have a conversation with a kid, though. They're so self-centered. I'd love to pop open a bottle of wine and have a real conversation with someone for once. Really get to expand the old mind. Invite someone else into my home, liven up the place.

I bet you didn't know I was a homeowner, before you all destroyed it. Do you know how hard it is to establish a good credit score when you're older than FICO and also you look like a scary clown? That gets in the way of making adult friends too, but I'm nothing if not committed to my craft.

It's a job, you know. It's hard to maintain professional contacts when most of your contacts are children and also you ate them. I know I come on a little strong, but I've been out of the game for a while. I'm socially rusty. I guess I saw the antagonistic banter you all have with each other, and I thought I could be a part of that. I shouldn't have put that on you. Too late, I know, but I see that now.

With that in mind, I hope we can all agree calling me "clown" in a derogatory sense was uncalled for. There's nothing derogatory about being a clown. Call me a hack or derivative, sure, but trying to insult me by calling me a clown crossed a line.

Give me a skills endorsement on LinkedIn, if you get a chance. I know it won't mean much, since I'm dying now, but the least you can do is help preserve my reputation in the scary demon community.